As you may have heard, in Kirkwood, five innocent people were shot to death. The shooter, himself, was eventually killed by a police officer. The church I attend is in Kirkwood and I lived there for several years. While I did not personally know any of the victims, my heart goes out to all of them and their families. I can not imagine sending my husband off to a meeting and then never seeing him alive again. These victims have families and loved ones whose lives are forever changed. All I can do is keep them in my thoughts and prayers.
Last night there was a community memorial service. While we still attend church in Kirkwood, we live about forty minutes away. Therefore, I watched the service on a local station. It was a touching candlelight service with local ministers and clergy speaking. Many of their themes touched upon rememberence, grief, understanding, forgiveness and healing. While I am sure this provided some comfort to people, I found it a little maddening. I am not ready to understand, forgive and heal. I will never understand why people need to move forward so quickly. Why can't people just have time to grieve? Many cultures have mourning periods. I find this to be very beneficial. People need time to just sit and fully grieve - in whatever way they need. I can guarantee that if my loved one was a victim, I would not, at this moment, be thinking about healing and forgiveness. I would be experiencing loss, devestation, anger, overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. I would want those feelings to be acknowledged and not have to think that I needed to immediately look to the future and be hopeful and forgive. Yes, in time, I would hope to be there, but please, let people live in the present and fully experience what they are feeling. That is what they need.