Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Extricating the Negative

One of my goals this year was to try to rid myself of negative situations. Obviously, there are negative situations all the time, but I am talking about those long term situations/relationships that are so entangled you feel helpless in getting out of them. There are a couple of these in my life (not my family) that I keep getting drawn into that on a good day are mildly irritating and on bad days so frustrating I can barely stand it. Why can I not dissolve myself of them?!? Why do I continually allow myself to be involved?!?! I frequently tell myself that I control how I react to situations and that I can not expect others to respond how I feel they should. This will never happen. I also control whether or not I allow myself to be drawn into the situation. After all, I am not a child. I know what will most likely happen. But....these issues are bigger then me. There are more people involved then myself. One of these will be coming to a head soon and I need to decide how I will respond. In my heart, I know what I need to do, but that "give people another chance" brain of mine keeps me from doing what I need to do. I know people will be disappointed and I don't like that. I know they won't completely understand, but I don't feel like I can be brutally honest. Isn't it easier to keep the status quo? The other one is very much up in the air with a lot of variables that will influence the outcome. This decision is also not completely my own. While I will do what I need to, it is hard to live in flux.

I want to mention, though, I do realize that I am lucky to have options. These issues are purely relational and not related to health or livelihood. I am just not sure why it is so hard to let go of relationships/situations that we are not technically bound to. Why do I/we continue with the negative? Why is it never easy?

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