Sunday, June 7, 2009

Heavy Heart

Today was my last day as the volunteer Membership Coordinator for my congregation. After a lot of reflection, I realized that I could no longer promote a church whose leadership I did not believe in. It was an incredibly hard decision that I struggled with for a long time. I love this congregation. I have made so many friends in the nine years that I have been a member and each one means a lot to me. I have also really enjoyed being the Membership Coordinator. I like meeting new people and helping them find their niche in our community. It is very bittersweet. I am not sure what I am going to do next. My husband was this past years Board President and is also feeling disillusioned. We are going to take this summer and hope to find a way to bridge this divide. Right now, I am feeling disappointed, sad, frustrated, and angry. I need time to process through all of these and hope to come to some sort of peace in the next few months.

8 comments:

ms. kitty said...

I'm so sorry, Plaidshoes. That is a heavy burden to bear. You and your husband are wise to take a sabbatical to figure things out. I hope your congregation learns what they need to learn.

DanaCK said...

Taking a break is definitely a good plan. I think that church congregations are a lot like families—you may not always like what individuals are doing, but in general, it's worth sticking it out.

Saille said...

I agree with DanaCK. And sometimes, a break will make the frustration less, even if you choose to go back and face continuing problems. It would be a shame to lose out on something you've spent so much effort building, but everyone needs a break, whether they're specifically unhappy or not. There's giving, and then there's giving out.

Bridgett said...

I'm not UU but I know this sort of feeling from my own parish experience. And I've stepped down before. Took a 4 year sabbatical, of sorts, from parish life. And then I came back and it was a good thing.

I hope it is for you, too.

Kim Hampton said...

Plaidshoes,
I'm so sorry things ended this way Plaidshoes.

I'm in St. Louis for another 10 days or so, so drop me a line at the_agnostic@excite.com. Maybe we can get together and have lunch somewhere (my treat of course).

Shannon said...

I think it is good for all of us sometimes to just pull back and participate and observe. When we are right in the middle of everything, it is hard to remember why were are really there! May the upcoming months be rewarding in their own ways, and just think- you can just be a simple old everyday unitarian!

Rebecca Hecking said...

I'm so sorry. These things are never easy. I send a virtual hug.

(((((((((plaidshoes))))))))))))

plaidshoes said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It is so hard to put so much time into something you believe in and realize that no matter what you do, certain things are not going to change. But you all are right, I think some space is what is needed. The problem is, when/if we return, the main issue will still be there. I am just trying to reconcile that with the greater (better) whole of the congregation.