Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tired of Religion
Lately I am finding myself in a deep funk about religion. I am just tired of it. I am tired of thinking about it and debating it and pondering it. I just don't care. I know a lot of this feeling has to do with how things ended at my last church. I feel burned out from devoting so much time to something I felt was important only to feel like it was all for naught. I can't say that the nine years was wasted, I did receive a lot of benefits and I hope that I made some sort of impact, but I am very reluctant to put out that much effort again. It has just reminded me that ministers, priests, clergy are just as human as me or you. They have no special divinity and, really, not a whole lot of extra insight. I am having a difficult time justifying going to services, when I get as much self-reflection reading at home. I don't want to make connections only to have them broken when I can't support the leadership. I am angry that despite all my work and trying for improvement, I am the one who has to leave. It is very hard to commit again. I just don't see the point.